It's been a LONG time since I posted. Well that's because I had a baby 2 months early (surprise!), who was in the hospital for 6 weeks and then home, and pretty much my life has turned upside down (but it's a good way) and blogging definitely took a back seat. I have posts about the floors, her nursery, spring gardening plans, and lots of other baby-related stuff that's coming, but I thought this post was more important.
This year is my first Mother's Day. I have been spoiled so far, and my husband is such an amazing guy for making me feel like the best mom in the world despite what I may think of myself day to day. This will be my mom and mother in law's 32nd Mother's Day and I am so grateful to both of them for everything they've done for me. My mom has always been great, even when I was a sullen grumpy whiny teenager, even when I pushed her buttons on purpose, even when I didn't appreciate her. Especially when I had Charlotte. There were days these past 4 months where I didn't think I could do it at all and her words of support and kindness were the exact thing I needed. Matt's mom Lynn is incredible too - she is so thoughtful and considerate and always looking on the bright side of all situations. I've heard MIL horror stories but I'm happy to report that I have none of my own and so happy with the extended family I am now a part of. Happy Mother's Day also to all the grandmothers, great-grandmothers, godmothers, stepmothers, and even mother-figures like aunts and cousins and great friends.
Now although I am over the moon in love with my little baby girl, and so happy to become a mom, I know that there are some who may be reading this and having a really hard time. There are so many women who want to be moms who haven't gotten there yet, or maybe have but have experienced loss. I feel your pain - I really do. Matt and I started trying to have a family in December 2011. We actually got pregnant right away but I miscarried at 11 weeks and I was devastated. After a few months of healing, we started trying again, but with no success. After a year we went to see a fertility specialist and for the next year and a half I went through rounds of meds and treatments before we had any success. 3 years later, our little girl was born. Between that time and now, I went through a really rough time. I went through times where I thought I was fine, days where I couldn't stop crying, and bouts of anger where I have no clue how Matt put up with me. It was hard to be around people with kids and seeing all the social media announcements about pregnancy and babies was like a dagger to my heart each time. I even withdrew from two very close friends. They told me they were pregnant shortly after I miscarried and we would have all had our first babies within a month of one another. Then they got pregnant again within those 3 years too. I'm happy to report that we've reconnected and looking back I wish I had done a better job at staying in touch because it turns out there are a lot more people than you think that are going through the same thing. So please stay positive as much as possible, talk about it with others, and know that you are not alone. I hope that one day you will look to this day without pain and anguish. I know my blog isn't usually this intense or personal, but I remember how I felt all those years and thought I would share my story.
I hope everyone has a great day celebrating those special women in your life.
This year is my first Mother's Day. I have been spoiled so far, and my husband is such an amazing guy for making me feel like the best mom in the world despite what I may think of myself day to day. This will be my mom and mother in law's 32nd Mother's Day and I am so grateful to both of them for everything they've done for me. My mom has always been great, even when I was a sullen grumpy whiny teenager, even when I pushed her buttons on purpose, even when I didn't appreciate her. Especially when I had Charlotte. There were days these past 4 months where I didn't think I could do it at all and her words of support and kindness were the exact thing I needed. Matt's mom Lynn is incredible too - she is so thoughtful and considerate and always looking on the bright side of all situations. I've heard MIL horror stories but I'm happy to report that I have none of my own and so happy with the extended family I am now a part of. Happy Mother's Day also to all the grandmothers, great-grandmothers, godmothers, stepmothers, and even mother-figures like aunts and cousins and great friends.
Now although I am over the moon in love with my little baby girl, and so happy to become a mom, I know that there are some who may be reading this and having a really hard time. There are so many women who want to be moms who haven't gotten there yet, or maybe have but have experienced loss. I feel your pain - I really do. Matt and I started trying to have a family in December 2011. We actually got pregnant right away but I miscarried at 11 weeks and I was devastated. After a few months of healing, we started trying again, but with no success. After a year we went to see a fertility specialist and for the next year and a half I went through rounds of meds and treatments before we had any success. 3 years later, our little girl was born. Between that time and now, I went through a really rough time. I went through times where I thought I was fine, days where I couldn't stop crying, and bouts of anger where I have no clue how Matt put up with me. It was hard to be around people with kids and seeing all the social media announcements about pregnancy and babies was like a dagger to my heart each time. I even withdrew from two very close friends. They told me they were pregnant shortly after I miscarried and we would have all had our first babies within a month of one another. Then they got pregnant again within those 3 years too. I'm happy to report that we've reconnected and looking back I wish I had done a better job at staying in touch because it turns out there are a lot more people than you think that are going through the same thing. So please stay positive as much as possible, talk about it with others, and know that you are not alone. I hope that one day you will look to this day without pain and anguish. I know my blog isn't usually this intense or personal, but I remember how I felt all those years and thought I would share my story.
I hope everyone has a great day celebrating those special women in your life.
Newborn photograph (Charlotte at 2 months) by Oak & Myrrh Photography
